Every new beginning…

Growing up, I had an obsession with many different things. I still don’t know if these “obsessions” just mean I am passionate, or just plain weird. If you lived with me from the age of 6-12 then you would know I can still, to this day, act out to you any part of “The Labrynth” word for word. Oh, and I had a crush on David Bowie. Let me rephrase, I had a crush on Jerath. Once I actually looked up what David Bowie looked like in real life, I kind of gagged. (He was 50 something by then.)

Before…

After…. oops.

To this day I have warm fuzzy feelings for that movie, and I honestly have no idea why. I guess it is just the comfort of something so familiar (I only watched it 100 times)

My obsessions even streamed into music. My poor family probably had to listen to the same CD over and over again on many car trips. It is no wonder my brother always sang “Barney got shot with a G.I. Joe.” I would want to shoot Barney too after listening to his sing-song voice for hours at a time. Yikes. Eventually, I moved on from Barney to “The Little Mermaid” soundtrack, then “The Lion King” soundtrack (which to my defence is still an amazing soundtrack-it won awards), and somehow in this process I jumped to an obsession with Cher. I actually had a CD of “Believe” that was nothing but remixes of the same song. I really do not know where these obsessions came from.

But, eventually, my obsessions grew with my age and became more substantial and less annoying (hopefully). I eventually grew to love two songs that are still my favorites. “Good Riddance” by Green Day and “Closing Time” by Semisonic. I think everyone could relate to these two songs, maybe the first more than the latter. I think the reason I fell in love with them was because I have always been keenly aware of change in my life. I have always been able to feel this bittersweet feeling whenever something monumental was happening in my life or the lives of those around me. So these songs have always struck a cord (no pun intended) with me.

For the last few days, I feel like these songs have been playing in the back of my head. Just like many of my obsessions (though not all), time changes them, and time changes me. I’ve been going through some fairly big changes recently. I lost a close childhood friend and moved out of my house. It was a change that I was very aware of and kind of shocked by, even though I knew it was always coming. I really was saying “good riddance” to many things.

While, I am still left with the feeling of a closed door behind me, I do see the open one in front of me. But most importantly, I am taking in this moment. It is, quite frankly, beautiful when I stop and look around me. While most of the time change rubs me the wrong way, there are a lot of changes that make me incredibly happy. If you told me years ago that this is where I would end up, I would have thought it too good to be true. And it is. So now, my new obsession is life, following my dreams, and just being plain happy.

Because “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end…”

 

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