“It is only by risking ourselves from one hour to another that we live at all.” -William James
I am without a doubt one of the hugest people pleasers that could possibly exist. I hate friction/conflict. I will go to great lengths to sacrifice how I really feel to make sure other people are happy with me and themselves. Don’t get me wrong- it not only is my greatest weakness but my greatest strength. I like to think that I am very empathetic and make people happy-and I am rewarded for it with appreciation. However, I have learned the most sincere, loving relationships are one’s where I know that no matter how much the person may disagree with some of my choices or feelings, they will care for me all the same. Falling back on one of the books I have mentioned a lot on my blog, I have an excerpt once again from Mark Nepo (what can I say, he just has a way of putting things so eloquently).
“Living through enough, we all come to this understanding, though it is difficult to accept: No matter what path we choose to honor, there will always be conflict to negotiate. If we choose to avoid all conflict with others, we will eventually breed a poisonous conlfict within ourselves. Likewise, if we manage to attend our inner lives, who we are will- sooner or later- create some discord with those who would rather have us be something else. In effect, the cost of being who you are is that you can’t possibly meet everyone’s expectations, and so, there will, inevitably, be external conflict to deal with- the friction of being visible…. It means that being who I really am is not forbidden or muted just because others are uncomfortable or don’t want to hear it. The great examples are legendary: Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Sir Thomas More, Rosa Parks. But we don’t have to be great to begin. We simply have to start by saying what we really want for dinner or which movie we really want to see.”
-Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening
My goal for the future is to try to be me. That is such a silly statement. How could I honestly be anyone else?